“Thaw”

“Thaw”

“I don’t want to talk about it, but the quiet might be worse”-Sabrina Song “Thaw” Official video

Powerful lyrics, so reflective of the times we live in. A long emotional winter.

“Emotional Winter” photo by Raymond Roy

Personally over the past year, an increasing number of my relationships, typically after “Speaking my truth” have grown cold and I have literally run out words to say. Left only with the heavy dense fog of silence residing in what seems to be ever widening gaps.

I recently heard that in Vietnam, there is a saying, “before you speak your mind, wait for seven heartbeats” (perhaps a lesson to speak from the heart rather than the mind). I suspect the isolating truths I spoke were not from my heart but rather from my mind(ego). As Tolle puts it so well in “The Power of Now”, Egos win when they convince us to focus on the mistakes of our past and the worries of the future. Living in the present moment is the ego’s nemesis.

In the present moment, neither the past nor the future exist……

By design we all need to feel loved, be treated with kindness, and dignity. We need the warmth of an emotional Spring. I am ready to “thaw” by striving to live in the warmth of the present moment and stand ready to count to seven in order to speak from my heart, and not my mind. I hope you’ll join me.

-Goroyboy

Harmony (Dealing with Conflict)

I cannot speak for others but, I admit it, I want to be liked, and accepted.

I can feel anxious thinking of unresolved personal conflict with others when the relationship emotional bank account with that person is overdrawn, depleted.

What about reconciliation?

That takes commitment from both parties.

Admittedly, I have fooled myself into thinking otherwise, sometimes you CANNOT reconcile.

Unfortunately our polarized society would suggest a short sighted mindset that someone always has to lose.

What is left?

Breathe deeply and slow down for a moment…..

What is the alternative?

Harmony…. If there is power in kindness, harmony is the fuel that feeds it.

In my humble opinion, Living in harmony is quite simple:

Step 1. Recognize the others humanity

Step 2. Commit to living a harmonious life with or without them.

Step 3. Accept the possibility that you may never reconcile with that person.

Step 4. Accept the fact that others(even those you despise) have the same right to the pursuit of happiness as you.

Peace

Standing Alone, A poem By Raymond Roy. #Poetry

Image: Raymond Roy

Standing alone, I wonder why. No one is there to hear when I laugh, breathe, or sigh.

What have I done? Have I been cast aside? Is this my Ego’s fault, heavy laden with ugly pride?

I have a choice of self pity or self-reflect. A challenge to my psyche, knowing not what to expect.

Self Pity is an easy-out, casting blame with expectations never realized. On those that would dare disagree with me, whilst I judged and unfairly criticized.

Self-reflection leads to most precious of gifts, wisdom, balance, and peace of mind. Received through humility, love, and the courage of being kind.

Peace.

The image above was taken not far from my home on the day of our first frost. Seeing this tree reminded me of times in my life I have had to deal with being alone. I hope you enjoyed the poem. Peace.

“Heartbeat” A love poem by Raymond Roy #lovepoem #heartbeat

Before we say anything else…..

Listen to my heart beat…..

Before you say another word slow down and listen to my heart beat….

The fact you are so close means I trust you.

The fact that my heart is beating means, I am willing to share the precious gift of life with you

Holding you near….Listening to your heartbeat reminds me that, we are merely human and make mistakes including, saying things that might be hurtful.

Our heartbeats beating means there is still time…..

Time enough to make amends…

Time enough to forgive…

Time enough to be still…

Still enough to hear our hearts beating as one

Peace

-Goroyboy

Sins(life lessons)of the Father By Raymond Roy

I watched your slow paced tough guy strut ready to take on the world.

I watched you come and go to the same job for 30 years and not complain.

I watched you be so loving toward your children yet at times not so, toward your life partner.

I watched you fight in alleys outside a bar with men twice your size, while trying to make a living hustling pool.

I watched you be laid off and swallow your pride by working in the fields to demonstrate never to give up and it is not the job, but the effort put forth.

I watched you joke, laugh, and tease, during dire situations so we felt at ease.

I watched you self destructingly isolate yourself from your life partner, express your heartbreak and heal.

I watched you plead your case toward justice based on being abused by those that should have protected you.

I watched you put poison in your body to escape your personal emotional pain.

I watched your outer shell crack open allowing healing love to fill a pessimistic heart and know you are worthy of love.

Today I watch as my children and grandchildren watch me.

Come As You Are by Raymond Roy #poetry

Come As You Are by Raymond Roy

Unlocking the gate.

It swings open. Listening over my shoulder. Listening for someone. Anyone. To stop me from locking the gate behind me.

Is that you Jesus?

Maybe I should leave it unlocked, just in case. Not so fast..A wiseman once told me, ”Expectation destroys gratitude.” He also said, “Anger is poison you drink, and expect your enemy to die.”

“Come as you are”

What first does that even mean?

Like many other catch phrases, over used. Just something people say. Like, “love ya, love ya guys..

It’s just something people say..

Come as you are…

So you can be judged whether you belong?

Come as you are,

IF..

  • You speak the same language
  • You are of the same race
  • Have the same sexual preference
  • Never question our truth even if you know them to be lies.
  • When push comes to shove don’t make waves.
  • Accept that if you to leave you will now be the enemy.

“Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As an known enemy”-Nirvana

Written for Sunday Photo Fiction thank you to our host.

Photo prompt “No trespassing” Copyright Sascha Darlington

A little darker poetry than usual, as my Old Man (Dad, Gerald) would say, “kinda heavy”. This is my first non lyrical poem. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading.

Peace.

Goroyboy.

“The Ego” by Raymond Roy

I cannot hold you in my hand, and the foundation of your lies are built on sand.

If I extend an open hand, a clenched fist is likely what you’ve planned.

If I give you residence in my mind ,you would have me be unkind

If I bring you to where love exists, you reassure me I should resist.

If I show you where you are mistaken, any semblance of truth is then forsaken.

Ego, I am self aware, that you destroy, my wanting to care.

To not care for others serving only my selfish needs, inside I’m waiting for the power of Love, to intercede.

To destroy you Ego is a daily decision , your Children named anger, envy and spite, fog my vision.

My vision for a state of mind, occupied by Love’s Children, whose thoughts are to listen, understand, and be kind.

Peace. -Goroyboy

The Scorpion and the Frog(Its in my “Nurture”)

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

 

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,but has just enough time to gasp “Why?” Replies the scorpion: “Its my nature”.  –Aesop Fable

As the scorpion can be evil in nature, so to is the nature of men. Fortunately we have the benefit of nurture.  Right? But hold on. As we think we are so far above the animals, we can easily take this is a pass. “Nurturing “is commonly perceived as a beneficial, loving, and mothering environment. 

What if you are nurtured by a bunch of egotistical jerks. As a product of that environment, would you not become an egotistical jerk as well? And by the “Nurture” that you have been shaped, an egotistical jerk would never think himself as one. At least the scorpion knew who he was. 

Peace. 

Vapor

  As winter sets in and with the human tendency is to hibernate, comes reflection. Drawing upon memories both recent and past, memories can be like vapor. Like vapor, you cannot hold them in your hand, misty visualizations just a thought away.

As time passes the fog may thicken making way for one’s own interpretation. 

Depending on your motivation/disposition, those seeking pity as a survivor of hardship may exaggerate past experiences embellishing details as for the creation of ones own personal “Odyssey”. 

On the other end of the spectrum, circumstances of mediocre events can be reshaped/glorified, placing them on a pedestal as a trophy which was never warranted. 

Recognizing that there are times when we are in the valley and our lives lack joy and happiness. Where else do we have to turn but our memories? 

During these melancholiac times, memories can easily turn to bitterness because of the longing for the “glory days”. A cautionary note during this yearning for what was, our vision may be clouded to the blessings directly in front of us. I cannot think of better insurance in the pursuit of happiness than to make a daily deposit of thankfulness into our memory banks. Thankfulness for what is right in front of us. Peace.