Tag Archives: anger

“It’s Been Awhile” by Raymond Roy


It’s been a while since I was on my knees….

Just as I thought the world is only getting colder,
Bowing my head, I felt the weight of the world off my shoulders. 

It reminded me humility waits patiently, but opens the door on bended knee,

as thankfulness, comes naturally. 
Clasped hands pressed together in this place

Reminded me to seek, a state of grace. 
As I finished, 

I had a stubborn smile as I remembered, it had been a while……..It’s been a while since I was on my knees. 

Peace. 

The Sin Of Anger

There is a saying that when you hold onto anger, it’s like drinking poison while expecting the other person to die. 

Last year at this time we were part of the loving vibrant church. It was a large part of who we were as a family and we miss it dearly. I won’t go into any details of what happened at the church other than to share how I feel. I can honestly say I don’t hate those responsible for destroying the church as it was, as hate is too strong a word even for those I am angry with.

 Yes, I still find myself angry.   

 I am angry with the lies and rumors that they chose spread even after they  were shown to be untrue. 

I am angry with those who failed to make amends towards my family and to those close to me.

Jesus Christ took away our permission to call people sinners and said, love your neighbor. And by the way, (here is the tough part ) everyone is your neighbor. 

Up until this point in my life I feel I have been a forgiving person. I have gone toe to toe with someone, got my nose busted but afterwards sat down for a beer together as if nothing ever happened. Perhaps it was because physical wounds are easy.  
Recently I was sharing with my best friend on how I was amazed that my children could be so forgiving of those who have crossed them while I as the parent, struggled to be forgiving of the infraction against them. It’s simple she explained, those are your children and you want to protect them.

 I believe as Christians, if we want to hate sin, it must be our own sin.I must now choose to spit out the poison of anger. The sin of anger. May God have mercy on me. Amen. 

“In The Clench”

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Growing up with an older brother in the 70s meant I came to experience  a phenomenon called, “The Clench”.
It was the privilege of being cornered and subjected to a series machine gun punches in the stomach while he yelled,”Muhammad Ali, Frasier”, “In The Clench”… For dessert a few breadbasket and head shots…I could not escape.

Over the years I discovered “The Clench” had taken up new residence. Looking down at my own hand,  There it was, A  tightly clenched fist. White knuckled with stress, anxiety, anger, worry,  A five fingered barometer of silent storms raging inside. Such is life, internal storms, wrought with an intense feeling of wanting revenge on those who had hurt, abused or neglected me.
I could not escape….

When I was 16, while my Dad drove truck, I would ride shotgun. I remember his tattooed hand resting on the gear shifter, his last two digits permanently curved. His fingers had been damaged as a result of smashing his hand through a drivers side car window during one of his many altercations. He chose to fight. His closed fist meant he wasn’t open to a discussion.
Given his life story, it was not surprising

Historically an open hand was a sign of peace. When you approached an unknown, showing and raising an open hand demonstrated that you bore no weapon and meant no harm.

Even Christs’ open hands as decpicted in Byzantine art, with the thumb and first two fingers open and last two digits  just slightly closed emerged as the sign of a blessing.

Look down at your hand. Is your fist tight? Deep down is your spirit silently screaming “I’ve had enough “?

May I propose that an open hand can not only symbolize peace but also a willingness to surrender.

Surrender my friend. Surrender all the burdens that weigh you down

Breathe in slowly. Breathe out.

Surrender. Take a moment and drop your weapon and open your hands and experience a moment of peace.
Take a moment to know that no matter what is going on in your life, you are alive and worthy of love.

An open hand is a sign of acceptance of reality. It doesn’t mean you have to like the circumstances. It simply means you are willing to deal with them.

As a believer in the teachings of Christ , I’ve found the simple act of opening my hands and raising them during worship, creates a conduit which allows the stresses of the world to escape. When I open my hands, I open my mind and eventually perhaps symbolically open my  heart to experience Gods Holy Spirit of Love for which I beieve we were created.

Be still and know He is God. Psalm 46:10
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