Healing a relationship
It can start with a small act of kindness.
A kind word.
Acknowledging that you made a mistake.
Acknowledging that you are not proud of your actions.
Visualize a moment in time when you shared a laugh with that person.
Visualize a moment when things were not so complicated.
Visualize the other person being as human as you are.
Visualize forgiveness. It just may be the ember of hope that allows healing to begin.
Being a Dad is not defined by blood that allows you to live,
but by your actions,
and the love you give.
Holding the hardworking hands of the man, who by his actions, was my Dad.
Floating along, looking through crusted blood on my eyelashes, I ducked under the spikes as not to inflict agony on my already swollen skull. Past the scarlet lace, I faintly made out the sign “traitors’ gate”. Fresh from the field of battle, Edward I aka “Longshanks” had made sure we felt his men’s full wrath for our feudal uprising.
Once beyond the gate, the moat was once again refilled as I felt our raft rise.
Our leader William Wallace beside me, was alert and continued to shout obscenities at the crown. As we filed off to the gallows,we were met with a storm of rotted vegetables, excrement, and high velocity mucous spat from toothless court funded protesters employed to patriotism. By day these “loyalists”begged in the street for a crust of bread due to over taxation. The irony was that these were the very people we were fighting for.
Waking with the sound of crunching, neurotransmissions from my lower torso told me it was likely a greasy rat having breakfast as I hung from the dungeon wall by my wrists, feet, barely touching the floor. In vain I try to shake it off.
Oh God take me now!!
Written For Sunday Photo Fiction Hosted Special thanks to the host Al Forbes.
True personal growth comes when you choose to honestly communicate and understand those you have conflict with even if it means living in tension and being accountable for each of your own actions. This is when discrimination and self serving categorization of others ends.
If you are of Christian persuasion, please remember, Christ did not come as more commandments on a stone tablet, rigid, cold and without feeling but, rather a warm, loving, and totally transparent being.
Three simple words , without knowing the context, have endless implications/applications. A simple accidental bump into someone, if you interrupt someone, a common courtesy, These type of apologies are typically immediate. The phrase is a polite gesture allowing us to coexist in a somewhat civil society. Making amends can also vary culturally. For example, in Japan the word for sorry is “gomen”. If you are at fault in a car accident, even before judgement and damages are awarded, you are culturally expected to offer what is referred to as “gomen money”. Those familiar with the Far East understand that “saving face”, a karma centered ideology, yields a population of humility and tolerance. I admire the Japanese tact that it in a sense, requires a time of reflection as well as setting the stage for the more western ideology of forgiveness.
Humility and forgiveness go hand in hand I have often wondered if it is possible to forgive without an apology. Additionally, must you forgive when an apology is given. For me I believe the answer is simple. If the apology is sincere, it makes it easy to forgive.
However, If insincerity is present does the apology mean anything? I remember when I was around 10, being full of myself, sharing with my Dad Tony, how someone had wronged me and the next day she had apologized to me. I smugly shared, “I told her I didn’t accept her apology”. He immediately scolded me and made it clear that if someone makes the effort to apologize, you damn well better accept it. Looking back, my not wanting to accept the apology was a lapse in judgment in the form of wanting to hurt, those that hurt me. The apology and her taking ownership was the key to breaking the cycle of vengeance and arrogance. We are human, as the Bible says in Matthew 5 23:25, if you come to the altar with a gift but have conflict in your heart with your brother, leave immediately and go to your accuser so that you may resolve the conflict, and then once again return to the altar with a clear heart.
If an apology never comes? That’s where forgiveness in order for you to move forward is so crucial.
Peace to you.