The Obituary 

I learned that you are dead. 
Although words say you have passed, your cruel deeds committed by you to me as a child still lingered for decades.
You might have softened and treated your own children better than you treated your foster children. 
I had a condition you judged as a plea for attention. Rather than love and understanding you provided physical and verbal abuse. 
Perhaps you learned cruelty from those that mistreated you. I have pity for you or anyone in that circumstance if that was the case. 
Perhaps you thought you taught discipline and tough love. You were mistaken. 

I learned from you how it was to feel neglected and mistreated. 
Because others that showed me what unconditional Love was, I was given the gift of learning that not all in the world were evil and cruel. 

With this gift I have strived to the best of my ability to choose Love. 

Love has the power to break all chains, yes, even the chains that until this point attempted to bind me, even from the grave. 
Dedicated to all child victims and survivors of abuse, neglect, and those many many upstanding Foster Parents that instill Love and understanding to those in need. God Bless You. 


  1. Martin Cororan says:

    Very good…

    1. goroyboy says:

      Thank you Martin

  2. goroyboy says:

    Reblogged this on goroyboy's Blog and commented:

    In the spirit of reaching those that have had good or bad experiences in Foster care, as well as to those considering being a Foster parent, a little kindness and understanding goes along way. Before discipline and punishment, please consider love and guidance. Many of these kids won’t trust you, or perhaps cant be trusted because is that world has taught them. Over 40 years later my healing from the one year with this harsh Foster parent continues. He is gone of this earth, this is part of his legacy. The first step in forgiveness is understanding, understanding to learning, learning to choices. My choice is to share and empower others. Peace.

  3. Forgiveness does help free us from the chains of trauma, Ray. Thank you for sharing this again. In my case, it was my father who was verbally and physically abusive, with my mother often standing by as a silent, helpless witness. It took me time to forgive them and understand how their trauma left them both so wounded. In my 70s now, I am so grateful that I forgave them both before they died, and doing so has helped me become the parent and grandparent I wish I would have had.

    1. goroyboy says:

      And you Dear Carol, are a blessing, a fellow survivor, and champion. “standing by as a silent, helpless witness.” Brings tears to my eyes. My silent helpless witnesses were my brother and sister. And yes, our experience just as yours have given us the will to be the parents, positive role models using what we have to break the cycle. May God keep you always my friend.

      1. Dear Ray, you are a blessing in my life. ❤

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