Tradition 

So where are you going for Thanksgiving? When are you coming over for Christmas? Are you coming over for Easter?

As a man, I can understand that from a primitive standpoint, traditional gatherings are clan-like in nature. Similar to a wolf pack returning from a hunt paying homage by nuzzling the Alpha wolves of your pack, cementing each other’s places in the hierarchy and keeping the pack strong. 
 “A daughter’s a daughter for the rest of her life, a son is a son til he takes a wife” 

As this poem so prophetically describes, I propose it IS the wife/woman that establishes family tradition. This is a great responsibility not to be taken lightly. 

As the husband/male on the other hand, I see that my role is to support the traditions  my wife is establishing as long as,

  1. The intention of these traditions is to first and foremost keep our nuclear family strong
  2. They contribute to the bonding of the extended family clan/tribe. 

These extended relationships and bonds are like bank accounts where the parties involved each put in 60/60 so when times get tough, there is always 20% left in the account. This means at times this may be inconvenient uncomfortable. 

Cautiously, I must confess I have reluctantly attended gatherings under duress for the benefit of the clan. Again cautiously, I admit sometimes they sucked 🙂 but usually there was laughter and sense of belonging. 

Standing back, I can also see that it wasn’t about me but the next generation of boys/young men watching my actions/learning their role in the clan by MY example. 
May our traditions be healthy and become something bigger than ourselves that keep our families strong . 

Happy Holidays and may the dysfunction be forever in your favor. Peace. 

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